just one of those days...or months...

Does anyone ever have days when you scream into a pillow and you still feel like you are going to freak out???

I sure do.

And the last month has had a lot of those days.

Drew was eating every hour and a half. That means I was getting up every hour at night. And he wouldn't sleep longer than 30-45 minutes during the day. Then Hazel decided to join in the madness and has given up her naps completely, and comes in our bed several times during the night. There was one night that between the two kids I had been woken up 5 times just between midnight-2am. And then someone saw this as a great opportunity to throw some more gas on the fire and my milk supply got low and Drew wasn't getting enough milk and wouldn't take a bottle...the poor kid was starving and there was nothing I could do. And to top it off, Tom's work is crazy busy and he gets home late every night.

No sleep. No breaks. Two very cranky kids. Long days. Day after day after day after day.

Just reading this makes me want to scream into my pillow again.
It has been a brutal month for me. I have been wiped out..mentally, physically, emotionally.

And I know things could be much, much worse and I still wouldn't trade a minute of this life for anything in the world, but it still was a sucky month. But don't worry, things have gotten a little better. Nursing is getting back to normal [thanks kim!] and Drew is eating and sleeping well again. Hazel is still a rascal but I can sometimes get her to take a nap in the car now so that's something. Tom still works late but that should be done soon. So, we are on the upside...I hope!

So I am going to attempt to get back into the swing of things here in the next little while and hopefully I'll be able to catch up on some blogging soon. This sounds like exactly what I said in my post at the end of February...well, that's because it's the same stuff...that was just the beginning of it and this is the end. So this time I actually mean it when I say I'll be posting again soon. Hopefully. (: Until then, forgive my lack of posts, my late responses to calls and emails, my irritability, my dirty floors and my unbathed children. (:

And a really big sorry to my husband and kids for being a terrible wife and mom this last little while. It breaks my heart when I can't meet all of your needs like I want to. Thanks for loving me anyway.

*And I have to give a shout out to my sister Amy, my mom, and my dad & char for dropping everything and being there for me when there were days I just couldn't take it anymore. My children thank you especially. (: You have NO IDEA how much your help means to me and how lucky I feel to have people in my life who are so selflessly willing to sacrifice their time and energy to help me and my little family. Love you all.